The Definition and Nature of Empty Nest Syndrome

Even though it’s a commonly used buzz phrase, Empty Nest Syndrome is not clearly understood by many. While some parents thrive once their children leave the home, others struggle with the transition. Recently, Nevada Mental Health Psychiatrist & Co-founder Dr. Sid Khurana discussed the often-challenging life change.

Knowing big changes are coming up in your household is reason to prepare proactively. Giving teenagers levels of increasing independence and freedom helps children learn to be responsible young adults and parents learn to reclaim their own lives, lives that most likely have rotated around their children’s schedules for years. “And really if you think about it, adolescents are supposed to start to gain autonomy,” he said.

 

What Exactly is Empty Nest Syndrome?

You may have heard the term Empty Nest Syndrome and wondered just what it was about…it’s a perfectly normal physiological response that often occurs when the youngest or last child leaves home. “While nobody behaves the same way, many parents experience common feelings of loneliness, grief, anger, isolation, and even questioning their own self-worth,” shared Dr. Sid Khurana. When the oldest child leaves, there is often one still at home…but when the last one is out the door, all sorts of feelings and emotions can surface.

When the last child leaves, your home may feel empty and lonely, and as rewarding as it is to see your kids move on the next phase of their own lives, parents may feel like they have experienced a loss, Khurana said. “It can often be hard to accept this change, even though you have planned for it.”

 

Coping Mechanisms and Progression to Deal With That Empty Nest

Preparing yourself that this time will eventually arrive is one way to begin your adaptation process. Khurana emphasized that accepting your children’s independence and finding new meaning with your own friendships and personal hobbies/pursuits should start while your child is still at home. “Reinvigorate relationships that are important to you and try out new activities.” He shared that the majority of people do generally see progress by completing these steps, leading to them to gaining the acceptance that their children are on their way to bigger and better things.

While many parents look forward to their new situation and gradually adapt, there are just as many that struggle to some degree. “If you realize that your form of coping is maladaptive (you find yourself doing things like eating impulsively or drinking to excess), you are not managing your distress well and may need professional assistance,” said Khurana.

 

A Variety of Factors Can Influence Severity

Preexisting psychiatric conditions and/or cultural factors can definitely increase the severity of your own reaction to Empty Nest Syndrome. If you have not prepared yourself for the gradual autonomy of your child, your symptoms may be intensified into a distress mode. Khurana said that some cultures and certain personality types (think helicopter parents who tend to micromanage their children¾an example he gave was parents who talk to their kids multiple times a day, even after they have gone away to college) may experience even more difficulty during this initial time of separation.

You Can Never Be Too Prepared

Proactively preparing for this big change by letting teenagers manage the majority of their own lives helps both parents and children. If, even after all the planning and preparing, your child leaves and your level of distress becomes debilitatingly severe, please remember that early intervention, diagnosis, and treatment are recommended. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified certified psychiatrist for assistance, especially regarding possible medications. While you may trust your primary care physician, they are not usually trained mental health professionals who can help you with complex or severe cases.

 

To Wrap It Up

Start planning and preparing yourself early (perhaps when your child begins high school) for the inevitable changes that will surely arrive sooner than you can believe. If you do find that you’re having difficulty with letting your child seek their own independence, reach out for help before the distress becomes severe.

To sum it up, according to Khurana: Your brain serves as the CEO of your entire existence so take care of it before things get out of hand. Get to a place where you can enjoy your own newfound freedom!